Embracing Failure
My name is Karen and I’m a failure. I’ve made mistakes in nearly everything I do. I’ve misstated, I’ve misunderstood, I’ve misread. I’ve tripped, I’ve fallen, I’ve had what I thought were great ideas, that literally no one else liked.
Yes, I’m a failure, and over the years I’ve come to state that proudly. I don’t think I would have accomplished anything worthwhile had it not been for my failures along the way. I’ve come to appreciate that failure is nearly unavoidable if we’re doing hard things.
When I moved to a new company in 2010, I was eager to show everyone they’d made the right decision in bringing me on. Gripped by the action imperative, I sought to solve every problem I encountered. I was full of ideas and more than happy to share them. Because I didn’t take time to listen, to understand the culture and appreciate others’ roles and objectives, I stepped on a lot of toes and even some landmines.
As I realized how I was failing, I connected with some great people who were willing to give me candid and constructive feedback. I took their input to heart and modified my approach. I learned to focus less on my ideas and more on bringing out the great ideas in others – particularly those that were closest to the problems.
In truth, none of us is a “failure” just because we fail. As we face our failures, and even embrace them, failure can be the best way to learn. It gives us the opportunity to stop, debrief, correct, then move on in a more effective way.
Facing failure can be very difficult and uncomfortable. It’s hard to say we were wrong. We do our best to avoid failure, even questioning ourselves before offering our ideas, but as one commentator recently observed “no great success was ever achieved without failure.”
Sometimes, we may not even appreciate that we have failed. That’s where feedback comes in. To get really good at failing, we need to get very comfortable asking for and receiving feedback. That means we also need to have courage and be willing to offer feedback directly and constructively.
And that’s where failure pays off again. It teaches us humility. No human being is perfect, even those of us who are perfectionists. Hearing direct, constructive feedback and admitting our mistakes helps us embrace our imperfections and put us in a better position to continue to learn and improve. In that way, failure also makes us more accountable to each other.
As a legal professional, my career has focused on managing risk – failure is something I work with my clients to try very hard to avoid. But to learn, to grow, to innovate, to continue to get better, we all need to get comfortable with the fact that we will fail. To paraphrase a wiser person, the only way to avoid failure is to avoid trying.
Originally posted on LinkedIn May 16, 2018